James (Buck) Michael Postawko (12)
December 9 1994 - October 21 2007
Fenton, MO (Suicide while at home)
Visit BUCK's MySpace Page
MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/bucksaysfuckyou
VISIT HIS WEBSITE @ Virtual Memorials
"She cuts the blade although it's much to dull
I say she's all alone
Fighting for redemption
I know little pain, a little lust
I lose myself at night to feel the rush
of tearing my skin apart
Take this sadness and close your eyes love"
(Lyrics by Aiden James, excerpt from Buck's favorite song)
In Daniel McCree's Words: (excerpt from his original writing 6-3-2007)
"A jewel never wants to reside from its
post and they say this but whats a jewel, a person who needs to be there, the day melded, a few riduclous moments, some laughter
and i nervously laughed and joined in the melody. "
RETURN TO MAIN PAGE GO TO THE ART GALLERY
WATCH MORE VIDEOS GO TO THE PHOTO GALLERY
Video Memory From Friends:
A letter from Roxanne Postawko
(beloved mother)
My 12-year old son (James Michael "Buck" Postawko) hung himself on Oct. 20th and died while on life support in the early morning hours of Oct. 21.
There is so much guilt I have regarding his death! He was literally my heart! I feel as if I am living a nightmare and cannot wake up.
My fear is that he is up there all alone. None of our family that he really knew has passed yet, and I wonder who is caring for him. He felt so lonely while here, it breaks my heart that he is in Heaven all alone.
Produced By: Marissa Wilson
A note from the Editor of DanielMcCree.Org:
It does not take great imagination to understand why Buck has always had a special place here at DanielMcCree.Org. In fact there is little doubt in my mind that our beloved Daniel, has become well aquainted with the spirit of Buck Postawko. Daniel too, just a few months earlier, made a similar decision to end his life. And I have always known that Daniels lot in life, and death was far reaching a purposeful. For it is in our change in others, that our own legacy is realized, whether we remain on this earth for one day or one century. I was immediately struck by Buck, in the core of my heart, and will remember that it was in his honor, this part of the website was created. It has been an honor to have him as a part of our "D"-Vine, as his spirit has touched so many lives, and continues to today. Roxanne, I have always had such great adoration for you and your work w/ virtual memorials. You too understand that what you do is not only healing yourself, but all who were shaped by the life and times of your son Buck.
Sincerely,
Colby - editor@danielmccree.org
10-21-2009 8:27 AM -- By: Linda, From: Kosovo
When I Must Leave You
When I must leave you
For a little while,
Please do not grieve
And shed wild tears
And hug your sorrow to you
Through the years,
But start out bravely
With a smile.
And for my sake
And in my name,
Live on and do
All the things the same.
Feed not your loneliness
On empty days,
But fill each waking hour
In useful ways.
Reach out your hand in comfort
And in cheer,
And I, in turn, will comfort you
And hold you near.
And never, never
Be afraid to die,
For I am waiting for you
In the sky.
10-21-2009 2:48 AM -- By: MoM, From: Fenton
Buckaroo --
First off sweetheart, I want to tell you just how very much I love you!!! You are my heart and soul and I can not wait to hold you in my arms again sweetie! To tousle your beautiful hair again while you're slapping it back down and saying, "Mooommm!"
I miss so badly how we used to snuggle. Even at 12, you would still come to my room and hop in bed and just snuggle your whole body as close as you could. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world baby.
I remember how I used to joke with you all and say that since I had four boys, you all had to get a house on each coast. That way I could spend a quarter of the year with each one of you.
Each one of your brothers would jokingly say, "You ain't staying with me that long." You would always be the one to say, "It's okay Mommy. I'll build you a wing on my house! You and my wife can sit out by the pool all day and sip margaritas." I would say, "Thank you, Buck.", and just squeeze you and smile. You would hug me back so sweetly. Your hugs were always so sweet baby.
It's so hard to believe that 2 years ago today your heart beat for the last time. I remember those hours at the hospital were like a rollercoaster. Your heartbeat would drop, and my heart would subsequently drop to my stomach. I just knew you were leaving me.
For some reason I had a such a sense of calm around me during the whole thing though. I was so sad, but I knew what was going to happen and I knew I couldn't change fate. I think I was in shock.
I remember telling you it was okay, and you could go when you were ready; that I loved you very much. But when the time came, I started saying "No" over and over. Then I had a moment of clarity when I remembered I told you it was okay to go. I started thinking I was going to confuse you, so I told you it was okay again, and I loved you.
It wasn't but a few moments later, and I looked up and the line was flat. I just pulled you up and cried.
Buck, I will always be thankful God sent you into my life. You were such a special, special boy. I will love you until the day I die. You were my heart and always will be!!!
Please be waiting for Mommy when I get there. I can't wait to see you again!!
I love you sooooo much! Way up high! Forever and ever! Around the world a million, billion, zillion times -- infinity!!!!
Mom
10-04-2009 7:21 PM -- By: MoM, From: Fenton
it's been almost two years sweetie. i miss you EVERY single day!!! mommy loves you sooooooo much!
August 24, 2008 (Roxanne Postawko- (Buck's Loving MoM)
Dearest Colby, {Friends & Family of Daniel McCree} --
This is just a short note to let you know how very much I appreciated seeing my son, Buck's, name and website added to Daniel's.
It's almost unimaginable that my baby has been gone from here for almost a year. In ways it's seems like forever, and others make it seem like only yesterday.
As you stated, and I am sure as well, I feel certain Buck and Daniel have met in spirit and have become fast friends! Buck was also very talented in the arts: music, drawing and writing. It seems to me they are making Heaven even more beautiful with their talents.
God bless you and your work here. And God bless our "boys" so they may continue to bless people with the messages of their lives.
Always,
Roxanne (Buck's Loving MoM)
Hello Colby --
It would be a pleasure to include my letter in Daniel's guestbook! I am always so proud to speak of Buck so the world knows what a wonderful person he was! I'm sure you understand exactly what I mean. It's so important for me that people know he existed! That's why it's humbles me so to see the way in which he continues to live on and touch peoples' lives. His heart was so big for this world! He would never in a million years believe just how many people have come to love him!!!
Always,